Peanut butter brain celery thoughts


Dear future son/daughter

I know that I may not be the best parent, but swear on my mother fucking life that I will never leave you at the supermarket checkouts alone because I know that shit is terrifying and I’m not a fucking monster

(via seeyou-nexttuesdayy)

  • Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
  • [Class titters]
  • Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
  • [Laughter increases]
  • Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
  • [Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]


"stop saying straight men are weak and pathetic" 

i had to listen to a man describe how the fact that his girlfriend’s farts are louder and stronger than his is making him feel self conscious and emasculated on the radio today 

(via fuckingylvis)


I’m yours — you know it.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise (via expressiveexperience)

(Source: larmoyante, via expressiveexperience)

I’m all right :) taking it easy.  How are you?

Would rather have my heart broken a thousand times by this one man than once with someone who never cared about my heart in the first place.