Dear future son/daughter
I know that I may not be the best parent, but swear on my mother fucking life that I will never leave you at the supermarket checkouts alone because I know that shit is terrifying and I’m not a fucking monster
- Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
- [Class titters]
- Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
- [Laughter increases]
- Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
- [Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
"stop saying straight men are weak and pathetic"
i had to listen to a man describe how the fact that his girlfriend’s farts are louder and stronger than his is making him feel self conscious and emasculated on the radio today
I’m all right :) taking it easy. How are you?
Would rather have my heart broken a thousand times by this one man than once with someone who never cared about my heart in the first place.